Melanie - Nigel - Sally

You have "unleashed" a monster... Seriously though, the weekend after your visit I went out and bought a lawn mower and strimmer, and took 4 hours to strim down the grass but it was worth it shrubs are cut back and am tackling the bind weed. I have also demolished the shed - that was FUN!!!! On the look out now for a nice bench for that area for reading and chilling out. Will also decorate it once the outside of the house is finished (happening before end of July)

Cleared the back room of the racing photos, moved the furniture around in the bedroom so the bed is now facing the garden - you said to find something to empower me when I wake in the morning what could be more empowering than nature? Removed the lampshade and also some of the furniture to make it more roomy.

Spent time on my CV and Job Description - God it was depressing... I really have been a 'Victim' most of my life, except when I was living abroad - don't have to be a rocket scientist to work out the reason for that one.

My social life has picked up - went to a party the other Saturday and got home gone 4am (haven't done that in years), it was wonderful I met new people and old friends I haven't seen in ages, and I was relaxed (no alcohol
as I was driving).

PLUS have always wanted to learn the saxophone but was told "ladies don't play such instruments", so was taught the piano instead.... Well I ain't no lady! Brought a second hand one and have already had a couple of lessons and I am loving it. One question as it is second hand is there anything I should 'do' to cleanse it?

I am planning my first party in over 14 years, on the first anniversary of moving into my new home - 31st July I am so amazed that I know so many people who actually want to celebrate with me!!!

Also remember I told you about Marian one of the Directors where I work, well I was very nervous about approaching her but fate conspired to push me and I was amazed by her reaction. She told me I have so much potential and yet I don't push myself, she has seen me in very difficult situations within GP practices and with patients and knows I can negotiate and communicate well in tight situations. She said I must stop undervaluing myself and wants me to consider the Trust paying for me to attend a further education/business course. So I am looking into this, though unsure if that is the way I want my future to go.

I really need now to find a way to control my thoughts so that I can make positive decisions regarding my future, obviously I need a job that will pay my mortgage but have to decide what it will be. Always enjoyed writing short stories (though reading through this email it may be more a War and
Peace!)

As I said you have unleashed a monster - though I am doing my best not to make her a scary monster but definitely one with attitude!!! I feel lighter, more positive and happier then I can remember, even my Tai Chi teacher picked up on a difference in me and wanted to know what I had done. My home feels more homely, we are gelling well together, I feel so safe and secure, I am not looking over my shoulder nearly as much as I used to. But I am very tired, but think that is my anaemia, and of course I need now to look at my weight as I do feel very uncomfortable and self-conscious.

Thanks once again for your support and the card, am thinking about your October trip to Arizona but not too sure if I can finance it this year especially as they are due to start work on the kitchen over the next couple of weeks.

Take care of yourself and please continue your amazing work.